done and done

Just like that.
It was worse than I thought it would be
It was just exactly how I had felt but I guess I was running away from it, put behind to reality.
fearful to admit. feel like sort of, I did let it go which did not belong to me.whole this time.
Despite I knew there would never be something there, I was honestly always wishing, something would be built,eventually. Now I am left alone being confused, lonely..I don't know.
same time, ironically its all for good. I could not take first action and was never going to, so I guess, It kinda did itself, instead of me doing. at least, I wouldn't be the one later, regret what I did. I was basically put in where I got no choice but letting go. I am feeling headache. I cried but stopped. and being able to write down
I am speaking to no one but myself. hope it is best for now. I just called friend and set up for hanging out
I need to be distracted just for tonight otherwise I will just be screwed. I do not want time-consuming anymore, think it reached enough already.. all I can do for now is stay strong and move on.